hello to those who read…blogging from my new friend above…(yay!! fun huh?)
i have stayed away from “deep” posts” lately…remember when i told you i have to think about things alot before i say how i feel?…so i have been processing lately…not sharing openly. i think in the interest of remaining real, especially in the christian world, you have to be willing to share not only the good but the bad because otherwise it may be that someone thinks that maybe you have it all together spiritually (or all together period- HEAVEN FORBID someone think that they are alone and they are the only ones that struggle within their spiritual life)…and that leads straight to hypocrisy in my mind. Someone that doesn’t share struggles but ONLY success misleads those who struggle. someone who answers “everything is fine!” is either plastic or hypocritical….or maybe a more gentle category…they are just not struggling with anything at the moment or not willing to admit it…
how are your quiet moments?
i struggle with questions for God due to a sequence of events called life…not that i have to know it all but just why does it take him so long sometimes….why does he let things happen and then call you to obey? why is satan so strong?
i have met with two “new friends” lately…one last week and one this week….both meetings were on the surface to conquer something easy…like talking about workouts and diet, bbtn business & eating lunch, or just to enjoy company & let the kids play. both meetings have turned into stretching me to be real ( but sharing comes easily- i cannot hide much)….i have had to share my inmost thoughts otherwise i would be remiss. they both have a current painful struggle and what if i didn’t share with them as well when asked for council? what if i answered that i was fine? chances are that if you struggle with something in particular you already feel alone in that…
both of their struggles are the same and mine is very different… the three of us have a ton in common though…satan has a foothold- like all of us a weakness, a circumstance, current sin, or past one(s). we talked about the more you rely on Christ the harder it seems to be … the closer you are the more you have to take cover…the Holy Spirit with me but Satan against… the same underlying theme no matter your “deal”….the same design…we need God daily and desperately…but are we willing to surrender? i am not sure that is easy….for any of us…to surrender that is…
i am so grateful for the talks…I have heard from the Holy Spirit loud and clear…you share, you be honest, you listen and respond with what i have done in your life, Ashley, and you commit to these girls to love them and pray for them. “even when i don’t feel like praying, God?” YES….loud and clear!! i have been faithful to you Ashley, even when you don’t or won’t see it…and i will continue to do so…i will take care of your big desires and little ones…i will comfort you when heartbroken, and help you along when you are so very weak….
precious God, i am absolutely heartbroken at your timing and sometimes your hand…and for my new friends as well…life is so very hard – i am grateful for the small successes in life and asking for strength during the disappointments…courage to put one foot in front of the other and the patience to wait on your timing….not mine….and the peace to not get answers when i feel like they are deserved…I am grateful for those i have been surrounded by…those who don’t judge and the ability to have been where they are and not judge in return…
in the interest of being honest…i heard a quote yesterday…”sometimes you are the bird and sometimes you are the statue”…(hilarious i thought) i have felt like the bird and the statue lately and i am not lovely…i am so grateful for Jesus’ precious blood and his mercy and love to desire us to be close to him even when we are not lovely…. i need his mercy and his grace….i need him to be faithful to me ….
one of my new friends expressed that i seem to “have it all”…and she is right…what a wonderful basket full of blessings i have been entrusted with…my family, 2 healthy kids, 2 businesses, wonderful people surrounding me… and i am a child of almighty God and he loves me right where i am…. so why do i find it hard to be a child of God…i shouldn’t have any questions for almighty God…none…he is absolutely in control…but i do and i am real enough to say i do…
so how is that for being honest? i hope this post meets you where you are….this is what is on my heart today….(maybe i will be more fun tomorrow, smiling….)
all of my love to my precious friend bebek…and sam
and to both of my new friends….i know God will be faithful in his timing…to all of us…
mindy smith’s “come to jesus” (on my playlist if you want to listen)
Oh, my baby, when you’re older
Maybe then you’ll understand
You have angels to dance around your shoulders
‘Cause at times in life you need a helping hand
Oh, my baby, when you’re prayin’
Leave your burden by my door
You have Jesus standing at your bedside
To keep you calm, keep you safe,
Away from harm
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don’t seem worth livin’
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
Oh, my baby, when you’re cryin’
Never hide your face from me
’cause I have conquered hell and driven out the demons
I have come with a light to set you free
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don’t seem worth livin’
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, my baby, when you’re dying
Believe the healing of His hand
Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival
Here in Heaven you will finally understand
Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival
Here in Heaven you will finally understand
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don’t seem worth livin’
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
